For nearly a decade, I had been an occasional swing dancer at various Rockabilly venues. After awhile, it got pretty boring since most Rockabillies don't know anything beyond the 4-count Jive and few knew how to do East Coast Swing. Trust me, any dancer who touts how great they are at Jive really aren't great dancers at all. In 2009, I decided to try other forms of swing such as Lindy Hop, Charleston and Balboa. I took a few private lessons to refine what I already knew and my teacher immediately said, "what's your purpose? Do you want to perform or compete because you already know how to dance." I never gave the matter much thought since I felt I needed more improvement. So he trained me to be a performer and recommended joining a troupe.
When I returned to San Francisco, I was determined to join a dance troupe. A friend of mine introduced me to one lady who ran the Deco Belles. When I expressed my interest, she took a good look at me and stated, "there are other dance troupes in the Bay Area," and she immediately dismissed my presence to talk with my friend. I was insulted. She judged me solely on my appearance and not my ability as a dancer. At first I thought, "is it because I'm not rail thin?" That had always been something that deterred me from inquiring about other troupes. Most of the girls are really short and petite. I'm very tall and curvy. Later, I met a Deco Belle who was much larger than me. She stated that it was my tattoos that this person took exception to. It made sense. None of the Belles had tattoos. I guess I felt a little better.
I heard about other troupes and saw their routines, but I didn't really feel a connect with them, or I thought they just weren't that great. I thought about training for burlesque but I'm not quite confident enough to take my clothes off in front of an audience. Again, I attended shows and noticed there were plenty of bigger girls who knew how to get a crowd going. More power to them, but I'm just not that confident...yet.
Earlier this year, I was told about a newly formed dance troupe looking for more swing dancers...and they had tattoos! Without even a meeting I said, "count me in." The troupe is focused more on a 1930s style Chorus Girl dance troupe. The style is Charleston as well as some Lindy moves. Over the past four months we had been learning new routines and training for future performances. We met every Monday night to learn new moves. It was a bit of a challenge getting all 12 girls committed to the troupe and we ended up losing 2 of them. Other times, someone was always absent (I admit I missed 2 practices). It made it harder to foresee how this whole routine would look, but I remained committed to the group (as did everyone else) and began meeting twice a week for practice.
We had custom fitted outfits to go with our first routine including bobbed wigs. We started doing dress rehearsals a few weeks ago and the first thing I noticed was that the outfit was a little big. I'd lost weight since the measurements, but it didn't look that bad. After everything was put together, I stared at myself in the walled mirror. I have NEVER shown this much leg in public. All my dresses are at or below knee length. It took me awhile to get past my image. (I have a complex about my body; an issue I've battled since I was 14 which will be saved for another post later.) One of the girls asked what was wrong. I just stated that I'm not used to showing my legs. My legs take up more than half my body and they're not stick thin. The first thing she said was, "you have great legs! You're lucky that yours taper. Nice ample thighs, strong limbs going down to a thin ankle." I never really thought of my legs that way, but it definitely changed my perception of how I viewed them.
Last night (June 2, 2013) was our debut performance in Alameda. I was super nervous; not so much about the routine but exposing my legs. I wore a long coat to cover myself before finally revealing my shape. I was incredibly surprised by the positive comments I received. Curves and hourglass were the two words I heard most to describe my shape. I never minded them much because I'd always had a smaller, cinched waist which was something I liked about myself. My posterior has always been round and firm; another plus. But my legs....I am learning to accept them more.
The performance was an absolute success. Everyone was whooping and hollering as we danced. They especially liked our "grapevine" where we kicked out and flashed our legs. I was very nervous most of the time, but after that first performance was over, I just smiled. We had such a positive response that other promoters want to book us for future events. I am absolutely amazed. It was definitely a blast being up there with the other ladies that I'm looking forward to our future performances and additional routines.
Being a part of a Chorus girl dance troupe has not only heightened my love for swing dance, but it has helped me to be more comfortable with my body. I think, eventually, I will continue with burlesque (in addition to the chorus line). I already have a song and dance; I just need the right costume. That will come in due time. For now, it's about the chorus line. Stay tuned for additional posts, pictures and videos as they come.
