A New Direction for one topic

I started this blog as tool for healing; I have suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for the past seven years that stemmed from a sexual assault on June 29, 2007. I was not only raped by an individual, but I was also raped by the Orange County legal system. I had to carry that burden with me the past four years when I relocated back to San Francisco. It has been a series of ups and downs, but ultimately, I am prevailing.

This past Thursday (August 7), I returned to the San Francisco Hall of Justice to complete the final step of a very long legal battle. It is now on record that I was truly the victim of a sexual assault. That past has now been dismissed and erased completely, and for the first time in four years, I can truly live a completely free life without any consequence. It hadn't hit me until this evening when I finally broke down and cried. I had a mix of so many emotions at once; anger, happiness, relief, hope. In my head, I imagined myself shouting:

• A big F--- YOU to that psychopathic rapist. His day will come. I will never be around to witness, but I am a true believer in Karma. Ultimately, he will get his due.
• Another F--- YOU to my cousin who claims to be this psychic. She stated, "oh your case will never go away. It'll stay with you forever." She has no idea how that utterance was a blade that twisted into my very soul. It had that much of an effect on me. 
• And last and definitely least was one final F--- YOU to the county of Orange. 
• Gadzooks how could I forget? A big F--- YOU to Gianelli Guzman for being a psychotic, stalking cunt.

And then I took a deep breath. It was that cathartic. I continue to see my therapist and she has stated that what I am now experiencing is Post Traumatic Growth or PTG; it is not about returning to the same life as before the period of traumatic suffering; rather it's about undergoing significant life-changing shifts in thinking and understanding the world and my place in it.

I thought about how I wanted to continue this blog as it has shifted away from feelings of despair to feelings of hope and happiness. Do I want to continue including PTSD related posts? The answer is yes. I've decided to create a new blog specifically for posts about PTSD and PTG. In fact, I will expand on the events that contributed to my PTSD diagnosis. It is a type of blog that will have some pretty intense content. I have transferred most of my PTSD related posts from this blog to the new one. I also think it is most beneficial for those who really want to heal and move past PTSD to PTG.