San Francisco 1996: I was aboard the 24 Divisadero line reading a short novel on my way to work when two flamboyant gay men boarded the bus, looked right at me, and beelined in my direction. They sat at a seat directly in front of mine making eye contact with me.
"Bettie Page," he said.
"Excuse me?" I was taken back by the matter of fact tone.
"You look just like Bettie Page," he repeated.
We continued on a short conversation until we arrived at my spot. Before departing he said, "You should go into modeling. You have a beautiful smile and great legs." I seriously thought he was pulling mine because I've always had a complex about my legs, but I smiled and said thank you.
I had worked at a corsetry shop just off Castro, and I told my colleagues of the encounter. It was as if it were a moment of clarity. "*GASP* You DO look like her!" We proceeded to do a quick photo shoot with me wearing waist cinchers and corsets. The internet was still in its infancy and the shoppe's website still needed work. My co-worker uploaded one of the photos. It was my first modeling gig.
Modeling was something of a hobby that I'd do off an on. It definitely wasn't something I'd taken seriously. After all, it wasn't a real career for me. I continued on with my studies focusing on my teaching career. Sometimes I'd model for some aspiring photographer friends just so they could build their portfolio. I never thought to ask for copies of the images. But again, it wasn't important to me.
As I became more focused on my career, the requests for doing gigs were slim; mainly because I declined. I was just too busy with work. Eventually, the stress of the job caught up with me when students (male and female alike) become to obsessed to a point where they begin stalking, harassing, and one eventually leading to an assault.
When you're thrown into a difficult situation, you start to re-evalute your life. Yes it was a horrible experience, but sometimes bad things need to happen to good people as a wake-up call. My job was my life. I stopped doing things for myself.
A very good friend of mine asked if I wanted to do a photoshoot just to get me out of my slump. "You do so much for others. Do something nice for yourself for a change." I thought, why not? It was a nice afternoon when I got all gussied up and began posing (and hamming it up) for the camera.
My friends loved the shots and they encouraged me to continue modeling. I simply rolled my eyes and laughed. "I'm sort of a late bloomer at this point. I'm in my 30s!" I always felt like I was too late. My age, my body; I just can't compete with all the young talent.
So I slowly got back into it. I've lost most of (and continue to slowly lose) the weight I gained with Demian. I've definitely gained a lot more confidence, but I know my body is a continued work in progress. Though I've accepted my hourglass shape and my firm round posterior, I know where to improve. I've invested in a waist cincher to help train my waist to develop that wasp shape. My swing dancing is helping me tone my arms and legs. I underwent extensive laser treatment to remove hair from my legs, underarms, face, and yes even the Brazilian (my time in the shower has been cut in half). And after years of research and questions, I've decided to go ahead with a breast augmentation at the end of this year. No, they won't be porn star enormous. I just want to be in proportion because right now, I'm far from it.
As of late, I've been getting emails from photographers asking to work with me. One of them even paid me. I don't expect to make a living off of modeling. (Heck, I'm still teaching, but this time at the college level which is far less stressful.) In fact, I'm doing it more for myself and entering contests. If I win, that's great. If not, no big deal. Though I did come in 3rd place for one contest. It was nice to receive some accolades. I know more photo shoots will come along the way considering that I'm an active member of a 1930s-era chorus line.
I will continue to update this post as more shoots come my way. So in the meantime, enjoy some of the shots below.
Cheers,
Rose Red
