I'm proud to say I have never had a twitter account. When I asked what it was, the response was, "just a stupid app to tell people what you think in a hundred words." That's it? I never got into it because I didn't see its purpose. If you are going to have something to say, it should have some in-depth meaning.
I had a Facebook since 2007 and it had its benefits, but as soon as it hit its apex, the virtual scribing was akin to a bathroom stall. I started deleting people who had nothing valuable to say choosing only to keep a small number of people that I know personally. My account, though, mysteriously disappeared just days after Gia lost her inane case against me. So I started a new one and was more guarded about who I added. A few months later, the bitch struck again. To which I let out a final post via Instagram and publicly outed her screen name for anyone to block. I never looked back.
When asked why I don't just start a new one, I was honest. I'd rather hear about things the old fashioned way. Pick up the phone and call or text me. Tell me in person. For the most part, people have been compliant. The one thing I don't miss about Facebook is all the drama. Apparently there has been a lot of mudslinging between people I know, and I'm the one who is completely oblivious.
- "Did you see what so and so wrote on their wall?" No.
- "How can you not know what's been going on for the past few weeks? Oh that's right, you don't have a Facebook." And I'm quite content with that.
When people say that it's so much easier that I have an account, I just say, "what for? You're telling me everything right now." At least I know the context instead of having to read into something. And that's the problem with social networks. People are vague in their postings which causes any reader to take what's posted completely out of context. One thing I've learned is that people have lost the ability to be objective. They are quick to take things at face value and misinterpret the intended meaning.
I've also noticed that it makes it easier for people to be cruel to others. If anything, social networking has harmed friendships more than it has strengthened. It's another reason why I'm glad not to be a part of it.
One of my friends contacted me today. J was recently scolded and degraded online by one of our other friends, M; M didn't have the nerve to say it to her face. It was all in a Facebook message that apparently was copied and pasted to a public wall for others to read and criticize. I told her not to take it to heart. Sometimes you just have to accept how people are in that moment and kind of back away and let them have their space. Eventually they come around (they always do). I told her: I rarely hear from her. But when I see her, she's friendly. I don't think she considers me her close friend despite my always being there to help her when she does call me. It hurts but I know my place. I'm just a friend when she's in need.
And I'd prefer to keep it that way with M. I don't need to feed into her drama. I just listen, and when she asks for help, I help her. I don't need to hear what other people have to say. Again I advised J, If anyone else says something about it, don't let it bother you. People like them live for other people's drama and gossip. Just don't fall into it.
The first instinct is always to shut people out and just do things on your own. It's a good practice, but one shouldn't confuse independence with isolation. Just be objective. In fact, it's probably best just to avoid social media or contacting people through it. It makes situations worse. On the flip side, avoidance can be misinterpreted as cold. Again I told her, someone who doesn’t really care for drama pisses people off. They interpret that as being uncaring or cold, when really, you’re just being fair minded.
And speaking of cold, the subject of Demian came up. She ran into him recently barely recognizing him (because he looks so old). She finally said hello to him. I found it amusing that apparently he was scanning who she was hanging out with. Gee, I wonder who he was keeping an eye out for. His responses to her were described as distant and cold; she lamented how he was once like a brother. But then she recalled how he yelled at her for commenting about our relationship. I reminded her of his warped sense of perception and said,
He's an asshole. He treated you unfairly. I know he's lonely. Where are his friends? He lost them all. And now he has to look at everyone with skepticism. That's sad and no way to live. But that's his sister's and that bitch's influences. He's miserable and he knows it. Of course it's sad that he's that way after how close you two were. But it's a poor reflection of his character. Not yours. He can always come back. But he still has a lot of growing up.
And it is sad. I'll always care for him, and he's more than welcome back into my life. I'd accept his apology without question. We'd just continue where we left off in a positive direction. But he needs to swallow his pride, and he needs to get away from that girl. (SIDE NOTE: I was hesitant to write about what I am about to say as this occurred a while back. I was driving a friend home which requires a drive through the Castro. We were stopped at a red light. You can't help but look at all the pedestrians crossing...then I saw Gia waddling by. I pointed her out and we just shook our heads. She's an immature little party girl; then I heard my friend say, "that explains a lot about your ex's shitty character." And I drove on. That's all I have to say; no assessment of the situation or any other comments. Just stating the facts.)
But I reiterated, you can't completely withdraw from people. Continue going to Verdi. Go because you love to dance. Go because it makes you happy. I assured her that she's a good person. That I respect and admire her for being so independent and objective. I'm the same way, and I know it can be misinterpreted as being cold. What people find out, though, is that they get to know you in person and appreciate the fact that you are open minded and objective. And that's not something that can be figured out on a social network.
demian griffitts